


Just Breathe

by silver_drip



Series: Shy!Loki Short Stories [3]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Aquaphobia, Good!Loki, M/M, Not Avenger Compliant, Panic Attacks, Shy!Loki, Social Anxiety, Touch-Starved, self-deprication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 00:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4327518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_drip/pseuds/silver_drip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frigga thinks Loki is too shy and sends him to meet Thor’s friends on Midgard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Stress writing.

**Inspired by[letitrado's](letitrado.tumblr.com) artwork: [Thor shield successfully protects Loki by 99% / The other 1% is when Thor gets hit](http://letitrado.tumblr.com/post/122411432882/thor-shield-successfully-protects-loki-by-99)  
**

* * *

 

 Loki was used to the thunder and lightning and was even more used to gripping onto Thor as he flew through the air. The younger demi-god glanced at the bright city even though it was nighttime. His gut clenched painfully, not because of the height or the foreign lands, but because of what was to come.

“We’re almost there, brother,” Thor said over the noise of the wind. Loki’s stomach jumped and he had to hold back his vomit. He already knew he was going to make a terrible impression on Thor’s friends, but it would only be worse if he was covered in bile.

Loki was startled when they landed smoothly on chromatic looking tiles. He hunched down to keep out of sight. The rain eased up and Loki cast a wisp of a spell, drying him and his brother off.

He gripped onto Thor’s cape as the older demi-god started walking forward.

“Hello friends!” Thor called out while waving, making Loki flinch. His brother knew how much he hated when he was loud. “I have returned from Asgard.” Why was he so scared? They were just a bunch of mortals—but all their eyes were going to be on him…

“So, who’s your friend?” a male voice asked, making Loki flinch. Thor tensed slightly and Loki knew he felt it. Loki berated himself for being so weak.

“This is my brother, Loki. He is only younger than me by a few centuries, but is a famed mage.” Why did he have to say that? Now they’d think of him as even more of a freak. Loki took in a deep, shuddered breath. These were Thor’s friends. That just meant they’d be replicas of the Idiots Three and Sif the Stiff. He’d put up with them for centuries. He could do this. “Loki,” Thor said imploringly.

Loki grasped onto Thor’s cape tighter, his knuckles going white, before he let go. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm down. Finally he stepped from behind Thor and instantly felt a thousand eyes looking at him, seeing every flaw and disapproving of him.

He couldn’t look up from the tiled floor. In the light he could see there were faint shades of gold and silver in them.

Thor placed his hand on Loki’s shoulder and massaged it through his armor, silent encouragement that did nothing to alleviate his anxiety. He knew he’d have to look up at some point. There was no avoiding it, but…

He let out a little whimper that he sorely hoped no one heard before raising his eyes. There were five of them. He easily recognized them from Thor’s description. The redhead Natasha was dressed in a tightfitting outfit and looked like she’d just been working out. Clint was dressed in a baggier version of her clothing and was sweating too. Two of them were dressed in loose fitting clothing, Steve and Bruce, presumable sleepwear—Oh Norns, what if he his arrival had woken them up? What if they hated him for it? What if they thought he was rude?

“Heya, Loki, welcome to my tower,” the same male voice from earlier said. Loki’s eyes fluttered to the last individual. Tony was wearing grease covered tattered clothing and goggles on his forehead.

“Thank you for having me.” Loki instantly internally flinched at his own words. He made himself sound like some common trollop, like he’d just been bent over and taken and was some simpering fool so pathetic that he was actually _thankful_ that someone would actually touch him—

“I propose drinks!” How typical, just like the Idiots Three. “It’s not every day the god of thunder brings by his brother, the god of…” The mortal left the sentence unfinished and Loki knew he was supposed to respond like any normal person would, but his throat felt tight and he really didn’t want to whimper in front of all these people.

“Loki is the god of fire,” Thor filled in. “I think it would be best if we rested. It has been a long journey.” On occasion his brother could be a true savior, although it was all his fault Loki was in this situation.

“Alright, do you want to stay on Thor’s level or use one of the guest levels?” Tony asked, directly addressing Loki. Usually he’d prefer keeping his distance from Thor, but it was less likely that he’d get cornered by one of the Avengers if he was close to his brother.

“I shall stay with Thor.”

He could still feel their eyes on him as he walked away.

* * *

His accommodations weren’t as terrible as he expected them to be. The bed was plush and the interior design wasn’t too painful on the eye. Most of all, he liked the view. The twinkling city was laid out before him and he knew no one could see him with his lights turned off.

He let out a sigh.

Why had his mother insisted that he come here after Thor prattled on about his mortal friends? He could be in his room right now instead of his back and neck hurting from being so tense. He could be laying in his own bed at this very moment, casting illusions and reading up on things he actually cared about.

He summoned up an armor rack. There was a faint golden glow around him as his armor disappeared only to reappear on the rack. He was infinitely glad that he’d chosen to show up in his war regalia. He knew it made him look imposing, even if his demeanor completely took away from that effect.

He touched the soft fabric of the shirt he was wearing, one made by Frigga. Why did she insist he come here?

* * *

Loki didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking about how disappointing he must have seemed compared to Thor, how he’d tripped over his own words, how he’d hidden like a coward behind Thor. Surely they must have laughed at him once he and Thor had entered the elevator.

Then he started worrying about the bags beneath his eyes from not sleeping. Would they know he’d been so embarrassed that he couldn’t fall asleep? Would they think him pathetic?

Norns, he knew lack of sleep would only make him worse, make him fumble over himself like a fool even worse than usual. They’d stare and laugh at him. They’d whisper behind his back when Thor wasn’t around to defend him.

He didn’t fit in anywhere, but at least it made sense here. He was an Aesir and they were just a bunch of mortals.

* * *

Thor banged on his door not long after the sun rose, causing Loki to flinch and almost fall out of the bed.

“Imbecile,” Loki whispered while pulling himself out of bed. He cast a quick spell, making sure no one was with him. He relaxed slightly when he sensed no one else around. Loki opened the door, seeing Thor already dressed and ready for the day. Damn, how had Loki lost track of time? Was it normal for mortals to be on this schedule? Would they look down on him for getting up so late?

He refrained from letting out an ‘eep’.

“We are to break our fast soon. Join us.” Thor smiled charmingly, but it had no effect on Loki.

“I’m not hungry,” he said dismissively while already retreating into his room. Thor grabbed the door before Loki could fully close it.

“You know what mother said. You’re not allowed to hide away.”

“I’m not hiding!” Loki snapped at his brother. “I’m merely not hungry.” Saying it didn’t make it true and as if to defy him his stomach ached with hunger.

“Loki,” Thor said softly. It was _that_ tone. The tone Loki couldn’t stand. It was the one that made him feel like Thor, one of the two people he trusted not to belittle him, was actually pitying him.

“Fine! I need to wash first.” He slammed the door in Thor’s face.

“No armor at the table! Tis a rule!” Thor called out through the door. Loki let out a pathetic noise that he hoped Thor didn’t hear. Loki’s armor made him feel safe. It also help cover up that he wasn’t built like Thor, that he was lanky and ill-proportioned.

Loki quickly slipped out of his clothes and avoided looking at the mirror, knowing it would only make him feel worse about himself.

He washed quickly, trying not to be late. Many thoughts surfaced, but he focused on scrubbing himself thoroughly so as not to create a stench.

He emerged from his shower drying and straightening his hair with a spell before putting on fresh clothing.

Loki found Thor waiting in the living room. Watching some sort of box with a picture story playing.

“I am ready,” Loki said with false confidence. Thor practically beamed while slinging his arm over Loki’s shoulder. Loki quickly shrugged him off, making sure his hair hadn’t become unsightly because of Thor’s brief touch.

Once they were in the elevator Loki stared at his warped reflection on the metal door. His heart rate picked up and he briefly contemplating just teleporting back to his room, but knew Thor would find him quickly and bring him back.

As the elevator slid open he could hear a ruckus of noise. He tensed up, almost breaking the hand railing. Thor ushered Loki out with a hand on his upper back. Loki took in a few gulps, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. Why were Thor’s friends always so loud?

They entered the kitchen and once again all eyes were on him. He hated it.

“Morning,” resounded around the room.

Loki nodded slightly.

“Good morning!” Thor boomed. Loki slid his eyes shut for a moment, wishing his brother was just a bit more subtle.

Loki forced himself to glance around and found that two Avengers were missing, Steve and Tony. Bruce and Natasha were working in tandem at the stove. Clint was at a long wooden table, tossing a ball up and down.

Thor gestured for him to sit down and Loki internally panicked. He didn’t want to sit next to Clint, that ran the risk of having to converse with him, but if he sat far away that could be seen as rude. What if they had some sort of special etiquette that he wasn’t aware of? Would they be insulted if he took a seat meant for someone else?

Oh Norns, how long had he been standing here, looking like a daft, wide eyed child?

He was eternally grateful when Thor pulled out a seat for him near the corner of the table. He kept himself from slumping in relief as he sat down. His back was to the two cooking Avengers and he wondered if they were giving each other knowing looks. Clint hadn’t diverted his eyes from the ball he was tossing about, but Thor had once said that nothing escaped his sight.

Breakfast hadn’t even started and he’d made a fool of himself.

He had to remind himself that they were just mortals and would be dead in a couple of decades, stories of his awkwardness dying with them—unless they wrote legends down as the mortals had done last time he’d visited this realm, when Thor and the Idiots Three made up all sorts of stories about him.

The clinking of a dish pulled him out of his thoughts. A plate was set in front of him by Thor. The thunder god placed one in front of each chair.

Clint tossed his ball far away, hitting the ceiling, then cabinet before miraculously landing back in his hand.

“Clint, I swear…” Natasha growled out, making Loki freeze. The archer grinned and sent the ball flying. There was the distinct noise of metal flying through the air. Loki wheeled around accidently knocking his plate to the ground with his elbow just as a knife hit the ball, pining it to a cabinet.

“I’m so sorry,” Loki whispered just as Clint said, “Aw, ball, no.”

“I’m so sorry,” Loki said again, feeling his face flush as he tried to sweep the shards of the plate into his hand, forgetting an easy spell that would clean it up for him.

“What have I told you guys about breaking my stuff?” a sharp voice asked and Loki screwed his eyes shut, just wishing to disappear. “I’m serious, Clint, I just replaced these a month ago after your little stir-fry incident.”

“But Tasha—” Clint began to complain.

“But nothin’. I’m sure you were being your usual dickish self—Woah! Sorry, Loki, I didn’t see you there. Almost tripped over you.” Tony grinned easily before his eyes landed on the few shards that were left. He quickly grabbed a paper towel, wetted it, before joining Loki on the floor, wiping up the shards and dust that were too small for Loki to pick up himself.

“Thank you,” Loki said while standing up awkwardly. His eyes flitted around, trying to figure out where to put his latest flummox. Tony opened a trashcan and dumped the paper towel in it. He gestured for Loki to do the same. The demi-god quickly washed his hands and returned to his seat while avoiding everyone’s eyes. There was already another plate to take the place of the one he’d broken.

“What the—Steve! You promised me blueberry pancakes, not this abomination of a pie!” Tony said while gesturing wildly. Loki couldn’t help, but watch, thankful that the spot light was drawn away from him.

“It’s called quiche and I never said we would be having pancakes this morning,” Steve explained.

“I feel betrayed by all of America! Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness! This isn’t happiness, Steve! Do you truly hate the Constitution?!” Tony opened the fridge, slouching against the door slightly.

“You’re thinking of the Declaration of Independence,” Natasha said softly. “Besides, I made bacon.”

“Your Soviet bacon holds no appeal. I like my bacon with a side of freedom.” Clint’s snort was the only response to Tony’s comment. “I’m making a smoothie. Anyone want one?”

“One of those algae shakes?” Clint said. “Fuck no.”

“How about you, Loki?” The demi-god’s breath caught in his throat. He quickly glanced at Thor, looking for answers. He gave no indication on what to do. Loki looked back at Tony, for some reason noticing he was wearing the same outfit as yesterday. Brown eyes were looking at him expectantly.

“Sure,” he forced out. Tony smiled wide.

“That’s the spirit, brother! It’s always good to try new things. Man of Iron, I would be much obliged if you made one for me too.”

“Pff, it’s your funeral,” Clint said as Bruce and Natasha started filling the table up with food. Loki clenched his hands in his lap. “Why do you even drink that swill, Tony?”

“I’m Iron Man. I’m not going to let something stupid like a heart attack kill me.” Tony tapped a fist over his heart twice.

“Hey, remember that one time you almost died from poison?” Natasha said in a condescending tone.

“Shut it, Tasha,” Tony grumbled while adding all sorts of things into a blender.

“You’ll probably die from alchol—” before she could finish Tony turned on the blender, making Loki jump in his seat. Steve gave him an apologetic look while setting the table with glasses, placing two in front of Loki.

Loki moved them around slightly, certain that everyone had saw him jump like some sort of pathetic cat.

A large pitcher of some orange drink was placed in the very middle as everyone began sitting down.

At one head of the table Steve sat down, leaving the other one empty for Tony. Loki wondered if that was some sort of visual power dynamic. This was Tony’s tower after all, but that didn’t explain why Steve sat opposite him.

The blender was turned off and Tony walked over to the table.

“Oh god, Tony, you stink.”

“Shh, Tweety Bird. That’s the cloying scent of science,” Tony crooned as he took Loki’s glass. The demi-god clenched his hands even harder together, hoping that Clint wasn’t actually smelling him. He’d thoroughly washed himself this morning, but he’d been having nervous sweats since the moment he left his room.

Once Tony was seated it was like a cue, everyone started passing around dishes. Loki really hope he didn’t break another plate. He observed Thor discreetly, seeing what sort of proportions and items he was supposed to take.

His palms began to sweat as the first dish was handed to him. He recognized the food. It was stacks upon stacks of bacon. A bit greasy for his taste, but he’d rather eat lots now as to give an excuse for skipping lunch. Next was the quiche that seemed to have bits of green vegetables in it and an almost sponge consistency. He took a slice, mentally berating himself for his hands shaking. After that came hash browns and toast. Finally the juice. Loki steeled himself and cast a silent spell over his glass, making sure his trembling hands wouldn’t cause him to spill.

He looked around again and everyone was already eating, except for Tony who had a single slice of toast and was suckling on a large water bottle filled with his green drink.

Loki began eating, keeping his eyes on his plate. The scraping of cutlery on plates was almost comforting with its familiarity. As often as he skipped feasts he was forced to attend them. At least this group didn’t seem as rambunctious as his usual eating companions.

And then, of course, they had to start speaking.

“When was the last time you slept?” Steve asked. Oh Norns! They noticed the bags under his eyes—

“I don’t know. What day is it?” Tony flicked a bit of crust at Steve, but Clint swiped it out of the air.

“Tony,” Steve sighed exasperatedly while cutting into his quiche.

“I may or may not have been taking a nap when you barged into my lab making false promises of blueberry pancakes.”

“He’s never going to let it go,” Bruce mumbled.

“Now if you had given me a piggy back ride up here I could have taken a power nap and would have been right as rain.”

“Not this again!” Clint complained.

“Thor gave me a piggy back ride!”

“Aye, you were very warm against my back.”

“Aw, now you’re just making it creepy,” Clint hid his face in his palms.

“It reminded me of the days when Loki and I were mere children,” Thor said, ignoring Clint’s comment. “He used to love to climb on my back—”

“Thor!” Loki cut in without thinking, drawing all eyes to him. His ears then face turned crimson.

Everyone’s eyes were on him. Why did he have to go open his mouth like that?

“I am sorry, brother. I know you don’t like lingering on the past,” Thor said. Loki cleared his throat and looked back at his plate, hoping the subject was dropped. He poked at the quiche. It looked unappetizing, but he didn’t want to appear rude.

He took a few bites of his meal and found it not particularly bad. He could still feel eyes on him, but slowly conversations were struck back up. He was just glad none of them were directed towards him. It was only a matter of time though. He was new to them, unknown. He could tell these were not the type of people to leave an unknown person in such a state when they would be living together.

Loki was counting the seconds. He was trying to eat at a pace that didn’t make him look like a swine, but was quick enough for him to retreat into solitude before they could start asking questions.

Absentmindedly he reached for one of his drinks to wash away the salty taste of the bacon. He took a silent sip before his stomach lurched and his taste buds rebelled. His whole body wanted him to spit it out, but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself more than he already had. Even so, a thin line of green bilge water leaked from the corner of his mouth. He quickly went to wipe it up and found a napkin waiting in an outstretched hand.

He swiped it up, his whole body trembling with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, Bambi,” Tony said softly while leaning towards him. “It’s not for everyone.” Loki couldn’t meet his eyes. “Have some orange juice and bacon. That ought to drown the taste.” Loki nodded silently in thanks as the taste was quickly washed away. He flinched when he saw Tony’s hand reach out again, this time to take the glass of green poison from him. Loki looked up and watched him pour it into his own bottle, before replacing it next to Loki’s orange juice.

Loki’s eyes swept around the table. It seemed like no one noticed their interaction. Some of the tension in his body relaxed, that is until Thor made a loud sputtering noise.

“Aw, not on the bacon, Thor!” Clint whined while Thor stood up, knocking over his chair.

“You dare try to poison a prince of Asgard?!” he bellowed while reaching for his hammer, which was missing from his jeans.

Tony squirted some of the green concoction in his mouth while looking at Thor. He leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table and cupping his chin lazily.

“I don’t know why you’re getting so bent out of shape.” Tony gave him an innocent look. “Loki drank all of his without whining.” Tony shrugged and Thor looked at his brother with wide eyes. Loki smiled mischievously while raising the empty glass. He could play these sorts of games.

“Really, Thor, I don’t know why you’re complaining. It’s really not _that_ bad.” Loki set aside the glass before going back to eating his breakfast. Thor sputtered again, this time not spittling green liquid all over the plate of bacon. “Sit down. You’re making a fool of yourself.” Thor slumped back into his chair, pouting. Loki gave him a knowing look. Thor sighed and sat up straight.

Once the Avengers were back to conversing Loki couldn’t help but glance to his side. Tony winked at him and Loki gave him a small smile.

* * *

The next time he was forced to join the Avengers it was game night. Thor assured him that pajamas were the proper attire, but Loki still felt woefully underdressed. He had one arm crossed over his middle, gripping his other arm tightly. Why hadn’t he brought anything with him that wasn’t green? What would they think when they saw him wearing green every day?

He could always go shopping. They had brought plenty of currencies and Thor had it converted into usable tender last time he went to SHIELD. But that would mean he’d have to leave his room, the tower, and be around _others_. It was a nightmare. Either he could have the Avengers think he was a freak or have the eyes of countless mortals on him, risking having a panic attack.

Loki was practically shoved out of the elevator by Thor and he would have hissed some scathing comment or another if there weren’t others nearby.

Thor charged in as usual, but Loki took his time, listening to the different voices to gauge who all was there and where they were. He edged towards the large living room before feeling too anxious and heading to the kitchen instead.

He’d made a miscalculation.

Two Avengers were in the kitchen, Bruce and Tony.

Bruce made the universal sign to stay silent and Loki nodded sharply.

Tony was sitting at the breakfast bar, his head pillowed on his crossed arms. His right hand was loosely cradling a glass of some dark liquid. Bruce carefully took the glass before dumping its contents in the sink and setting it down with a soft _clink_.

Loki just realized that he had watched the whole interaction while standing awkwardly in the doorway. He hustled towards the fridge silently, making it look like that’s why he’d come in here.

Nothing looked all that familiar. He crouched slightly and picked up a plastic package labelled cheese. He examined it, trying not to look like an idiot since he _knew_ Bruce was staring at him. Each piece of cheese was square and wrapped in plastic. He pulled one out and glanced at the conscious Avenger. Bruce was reading the back of a box of tea.

“Brother! There you are,” Thor said loudly, startling everyone in the kitchen. Loki dropped the cheese, Bruce flinched, and Tony’s head went flying up. Loki scrambled to pick up the container of cheese and plastic covered slice. He fumbled over and over again.

“Thanks, Thunder Cat, you know you’re my favorite alarm clock,” Tony said sarcastically.

“Apologies. I was just worried—” Loki gave his brother a pointed look from his squatted position in front of the fridge. “Game night has commenced and we were wondering where you all were.” Loki finally picked up the cheese and shoved it into the fridge, before remembering it was in a different place earlier and relocating it.

“I’ll be there in a second,” Bruce said while turning towards Thor. “I’m just fixing up some tea and will probably get some popcorn going.”

“Wonderful!” Thor glanced at Tony expectantly. He was rubbing one of his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” Tony waved dismissively while standing up. “Does Clint and Tasha have beers yet?” he asked while moving towards the fridge. Loki scurried away as subtly as he could and was thankful that Tony was tired enough not to notice.

“I believe Clint just finished his.”

Tony snagged a beer from the fridge before grabbing a slice of cheese. He unwrapped it with his teeth and quickly gobbled it down. Bruce sighed.

“Tony, when was the last time you had a real meal?”

“I’m getting a real sense of deja vu here. I’m good to go, Brucie-Bear. No worries.” He began walking towards the doorway Loki was standing beside. Loki put a bit of distance between them, moving further into the kitchen as Tony and Thor left. Bruce went back to reading the tea carton and Loki inched over to the fridge, curious about the cheese. He slid out a slice before retreating into the hallway where no one could see him. Loki unwrapped it carefully. The cheese wasn’t terrible, but nothing like the refined ones in Asgard.

Loki let out a silent sigh, relaxing a bit against the cool surface of the wall.

He’d have to join the group eventually though.

His hands clenched unconsciously and a crinkling noise startled him. He looked down at the empty cheese packet.

Damn the Norns. He’d look idiotic if he went back into the kitchen after just leaving and he’d look plain stupid if he walked into the living room with it in hand.

Loki cupped his forehead before suddenly feeling like a fool. He simply used his magic to transport it to the trashcan in the kitchen.

He was such an idiot some times.

Loki took in a few calming breaths and counted the runes as he had taught himself to do _centuries_ ago and it helped a little.

He had to get out of this hallway before Bruce came through.

Silently he moved towards the noise of the other Avengers. He peeked around the corner and saw Natasha unraveling some sort of mat. Clint was flipping a bottle cap up and down. Steve was looking at different games while frowning. Thor was sprawled out on the couch.

It took a moment for Loki to locate Tony. He was behind a bar, shaking some sort of drink.

Loki tried to figure out where the best place to sit would be. All of the chairs were circled around the large spotted mat Natasha was smoothing out. It was too close for his comfort. He could sit at the bar, but that would be too obvious and they’d just call him over. Maybe if he brought in a chair from the kitchen, put it close to the circle without actually having to be a part of it…

“Hey, Loki,” Tony said after handing off a red drink to Natasha. “What kind of drink do you want? I brewed up some pretty strong alcohol in one of the labs that can actually get Thor tipsy, if you’re interested.”

Loki refrained from flinching and glanced at his brother, hoping he’d save him. Unfortunately Thor was facing away from him. Loki really, _really_ hated having this conversation.

“I don’t drink alcohol,” Loki said while screwing his eyes shut, waiting for the laughter, questions, and prodding. When he received none he squinted one of his eyes open. He couldn’t read Tony’s expression, but he was certain that he was being judged. Finally Tony shrugged.

“Okay, there’s an assortment of juices at the bar if you want to try some.” Tony’s voice suddenly dipped lower, “And it will be a good excuse as to not join the group yet.” Tony smiled before heading to the bar without looking back.

Loki looked at the group of Avengers. Natasha was digging her elbow into Clint’s side, trying to get him to scoot over as Steve just shook his head in disapproval.

The bar was definitely the better option.

Tony was already pouring out little half-filled shot glasses of various juices.

Loki carefully sat on the barstool, willing himself not to somehow slip off of it.

There were six shot glasses laid out. Loki suddenly had the image of him somehow spilling all six in one go, breaking even more dishes.

Tony was looking at him expectantly. Loki bit his tongue, trying to get it together. Tony’s eyes drifted and he turned around, picking up two bottles of amber colored liquids and reading their labels.

Loki was eternally grateful before he dragged his concentration back to the little drink.

He recognized the first one as orange juice and was glad he was starting off with something familiar. He tried them all and found the red one to be his favorite. He set the last shot glass down slightly louder than he’d like to, getting Tony’s attention. The engineer set down one bottle before turning back towards Loki.

“I liked this one.” He pushed forward the shot glass that had the red juice, feeling childish. Tony grinned widely.

“Cranberry juice, a man after my own heart… hearts.” Tony laughed to himself while leaning behind the bar. Loki pushed down a blush. Tony pulled out a pair of matching glasses and a bottle of cranberry juice. He filled both glasses before handing one to Loki. “The green recliner is the comfiest seat. You better grab it before someone else does.” Tony gave him a wink, as if they were sharing some inside joke. Loki held back his confusion before looking back over at the group. He came to the realization that the recliner was the only chair that seated one. The rest were couches and love seats. It also wasn’t flanked on both sides. To its left was an unlit fireplace while the right had a loveseat.

Loki purposefully took the long way around, not wanting to cross in the middle of everything and step on the spotted mat Natasha had laid out.

The group, minus Thor, greeted him. He nodded politely before looking at his glass. A moment later he sensed someone sit in the chair beside him. Tony was sprawled in the loveseat, legs open obscenely with his drink in hand.

“What do you have a UTI or something?” Clint asked loudly while looking at Tony.

“Actually I’ve got a gallstone. Why don’t you come suck it out for me?” Tony grinned salaciously while cupping himself through his jeans.

“You’re sick, Stark. And I’m pretty sure that’s not even how that works.” Clint took a large swig of his beer.

“Actually, if it’s low enough down in the—”

“Seriously, Tasha, I do not want to know.” She grinned at him.

“Knowing is half the battle,” she said under her breath, glass just barely touching her bottom lip.

“I watch G.I. Joe one time and she never lets it go,” Clint complained.

“Alright, settled down children,” Bruce said while walking into the living room, balancing two bowls of popcorn and a cup of tea. “Seriously? Twister again?”

“Sorry, Yoga Master. Blame Tasha,” Tony spoke up before taking a sip of his juice.

“I’m sitting this one out,” Bruce grumbled just as Thor said, “What is this Twister game?”

Loki glanced at the ground and saw the spinner, figuring out the game instantly. He was frozen in fear. That would mean close proximities, the chance of them hearing his heart thunder away, the chance of them being able to _smell_ him, _touch_ him. He could already feel a panic attack starting.

“I’ll sit this one out too,” Tony said after Natasha finished explaining the rules. “I think there’s only enough room for the Wonder Twins and two muscular blonds. Any objections?” Almost everyone shrugged in agreement.

Loki was starting to calm down when Bruce spoke to him.

“Loki, would you like to spin the board?” His question was so innocent, so unimposing, yet Loki could still feel the panic edging over his good sense.

“Oh, shit,” Tony said, cranberry juice spilled on his jeans. “Brucie, get the game started. I need to change.”

“How much have you had to drink?” Clint called after Tony’s retreating form.

“Not enough for your voice to stop being annoying!”

* * *

For Loki game night ended with Natasha winning three straight games of Twister, even after it somehow became a drinking game. He snuck off before a new game could be chosen or anyone could become too rowdy.

He slept surprisingly well that night.

It was when morning came that the apprehension hit him again.

Why did he only have green clothes?

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Loki wanted to pull his short hair out in frustration, but knew it would only make him look crazy.

He was usually so good at thinking ahead, yet when his mother practically kicked him out of his personal library he’d packed while in a tizzy.

Green was his comfort color after all.

All his clothing was colored with magical dye to prevent it from fading over the centuries.

What was worse was he couldn’t borrow Thor’s clothes. He’d never bothered to learn a resizing spell since he had tailors and his mother for such things. Besides that everyone would know that he was wearing Thor’s clothes and would think he was a loser who was too stupid to choose his own clothing.

Loki paced his room a few times, before crumbling inwards and going to Thor’s room.

He knocked and a moment later Thor answered.

“I have a problem,” Loki said immediately despite Thor only being half awake. Thor itched his stomach before responding.

“What is it, Little One?”

“Don’t call me that,” Loki growled, hating his old nickname. “I need more clothing.”

“Why? I saw you magic all those outfits away before we came here.”

“I _need_ it, Thor. Are you going to help me or shall I grovel like a beggar on the streets?”

“So over dramatic. Fine, let me get dressed.” Thor turned away and pulled on the jeans he wore yesterday along with a fresh shirt. He did not bother with shoes. Loki followed behind him.

“Where are we going?” Loki could already feel the worry clawing at him.

“Worry not. We’re not going far.”

“There is a clothing store in this tower?” he asked incredulously.

“No, but there is a billionaire.” They entered the elevator.

“Tony, I assume.” He’d talked to the Avenger a handful of times, but not enough to relax even the slightest around him. Thor nodded, slouching against the elevator wall. “And how are we going to explain why we simply cannot go out and buy them ourselves?” Loki was doing his best to not let his stress show through his voice.

“He will not ask.”

“But how can you be certain, Thor?” His anxiety made his voice high.

“Tony Stark does not ask questions like that. He loves spending money, especially on friends.” Loki’s eyes went wide and the elevator door opened, showing a white wall and single glass door.

“But we are not friends,” Loki squeaked. Thor grinned sadly.

“Yes, you are.”

Before Loki could respond the glass door opened, but no one exited. Thor headed towards it with his usual unwavering confidence.

“What have I told you about coming into my china shop, you bull?” Tony called out as they walked into a room of controlled chaos. Loki had no way of describing it beyond _alive_. His eyes finally landed on the engineer. He was wearing the same goggles Loki had seen him in when he first arrived. He was steadily focused on the machine he was working on, not even looking over at the pair.

Loki suddenly felt twitchy and wanted to flee.

“But Tony,” Thor said while taking a step forward.

“Look at the ground, Oh Thundering One.”

Loki’s eyes were driven downwards. In red spray paint there was a well-defined line with the words _No Thors Beyond This Point_ above it.

Thor deflated slightly.

“I’m sorry, brother, but this is an endeavor you must take on your own.” Loki was about to protest when Tony spoke up.

“Is there anything I can help you with, Loki?”

“See?” Thor whispered. “Everything will be fine.” With that, Thor left.

Loki opened his mouth, but didn’t know what to say. Tony was still working on his machine and Loki was grateful that he didn’t see how much Loki looked like a fish right now.

Loki took in a few calming breaths, knowing that every second that past just made him look more foolish.

It was either a few moments of crippling social interaction or hating himself for the rest of the stay. It really shouldn’t be this hard to choose.

Finally… _finally_ he forced air out of his lungs and formed words.

“I need new clothing.” Loki snapped his jaw closed. Why did he make himself sound so demanding? He was a prince, but he was here asking for help. “Can you please get me new clothes?”

Tony finally looked away from his machine, pulling off his gloves, and goggles. Loki tensed up, waiting for a refusal, laughter, mockery.

“Sure. We talking everyday clothes or something more specific?” Tony asked while grabbing a rag and using it to wipe the sweat from the back of his neck.

“Uhm,” Loki took in another gulp, not sure why he was so distracted. “Everyday clothes, I guess.”

“I normally get my personal assistant to do all this fashion stuff for me, but you’re not a public figure so you can pretty much wear whatever you want.” Tony plopped down in a chair before gesturing for Loki to sit in the one next to him. Loki slowly walked closer as a screen rose out of the silver table. A keyboard made of light was project from the base of the computer screen. Tony typed things in at a lightning fast pace as Loki took his seat, not wanting to sit too close, but also wanting to observe. “I opened up a few tabs on different clothing brands. You want me to explain how to use the computer?”

“No, I understand it.” Did he really look that stupid, or was it just because he was from a different realm. “How am I to pay for this? Is there some sort of funneling system?” He had plenty of currency stored away.

“Don’t worry about that. Just start shopping and tell me when you’re finished. Is it alright if I play some music, or will that distract you?” Tony asked, leaning his hip against one of his work tables.

“It’s your lab…” He really didn’t want to cause even more of a disturbance than he already was.

“I’ll keep it mellow. If anything really bothers you just say ‘skip’ and a different song will come on.” Before Loki could respond Tony was pulling on his gloves and goggles while going back to his machine.

Music started playing. It wasn’t exactly catchy and it wasn’t anything that would distract him. Loki glanced over at Tony. It seemed like he was already back into his own world of bolts and gears, completely having forgotten about Loki. He didn’t know how he felt about that. It was both a relief and a bit saddening.

He both wanted to be left alone, but also noticed without judgement. The former wasn’t too hard to achieve on a regular basis, but the latter was impossible.

Loki sighed and turned towards the computer.

His throat felt tight again.

How much was he supposed to get?

If he got too much he’d seem greedy and snobbish. His father might even know about it and scold him when he got back for bringing shame to Asgard.

But if he got too little… He’d just be in this situation all over again, wearing the same clothing on repeat, but at least these ones won’t be green.

After chewing on his bottom lip for a good five minutes he decided to just look around and see what caught his eye.

He found that the internet was sprawling with different types of clothing. Each tab he went to seemed to have a completely different style than the last.

Was Tony trying to make fun of him for how he dressed? Or was he trying to trick him into looking foolish?

Would any of these clothes even look good on him? They all had different means of sizing and he wasn’t sure how any of the clothing would lay on his lanky frame. They had no tailors here, or at least none that didn’t require him leaving the tower. Besides he hated how close they had to get to take in or take out a hem.

Why had he done this to himself? Why couldn’t he have been smarter when packing? Or learned that damn resizing spell? Why did he always put himself in these situations? Why—

“How’s it going?” Tony asked, suddenly beside him. Loki gasped and pushed himself away, causing him to roll backwards and slam into another table. He started hyperventilating. “Sorry,” Tony said, but Loki couldn’t see him through his blurred vision. “You’re okay. Everything’s okay. Do you want me to get Thor?” Loki shook his head no. “Do you want me to leave?” Loki froze, his air stuck, and lungs burning.

“No,” he squeaked out.

“How about a glass of water?” Loki nodded, feeling tears mar his face. “You know, I really like the color green on you. It really brings out your eyes. I used to hate the color of my eyes. _Brown_ , pff, everyone has brown eyes.” Tony began ranting as he went to get the water. “Green eyes? Now that’s where it’s at. My personal assistant has green eyes, but they’re nowhere as good looking as yours.” There was the sound of water flowing and Loki’s breathing was starting to slow down. “I don’t think I could pull off having green eyes like yours, maybe blue, but I think if I had green eyes I’d just be too damn sexy for my own good. I’d get no work done, too many women and men pining after me—I’m sure you know all about that though, a gorgeous guy like you.” Despite himself, Loki scoffed. “Giant muscles like Thor’s and Steve’s are fine and everything, but they’re so bulky. When I’m the little spoon I don’t want to have a fifty pound arm laying on me. My lungs are struggling enough as is.”

Tony pulled up a chair and handed Loki the glass of water. Loki couldn’t look up at him, but at least his breathing was evening out.

“I’ll just have my PA order clothing for you. She loves this kind of stuff anyway, not that she’d ever admit it.” Tony paused and Loki felt his panic starting to ebb back up. “There’s a cot over there if you want to stay down here, but you’re free to do as you please.”

Without a thought, Loki teleported back to his room.

* * *

Loki didn’t leave his room for a week. He hid under his blanket, crying on and off. He’d made a complete fool out of himself in front of Tony, breaking down like a child. He was sure the whole team knew about it now.

He was constantly in and out of a state of complete panic. He just wanted to go home and never come back to this realm.

Thor kept coming around twice every day, trying to get him to come out of his room. Loki was thankful that at least his oaf of his brother brought him food. Loki hid beneath his blanket except when he went to retrieve his meals, leaving the empty plates outside of his room.

His behavior wasn’t completely out of the ordinary. As a child it had always been like this, he had gotten a little better as he grew up and steeled himself against Thor’s annoying friends. He’d never had a panic attack in front of anyone other than Thor and his mother.

Why did he have to break down like that? In front of Tony, the loudest, yet kindest Avenger. Looking back on it he had saved him more than once from awkward situations. When Thor had described his mortal friends he had described Tony as being the most obnoxious of his teammates, as he had demonstrated during game night. Yet he had somehow been gentle and unobtrusive, even bringing Loki into one of his jokes.

And now he had freaked out the only one who could even be close to a friend. He’d never had a friend before… and now it was over before it even began.

Loki cried some more.

There was a knock on his door, far different than Thor’s, too soft, too steady.

Loki tensed up.

No, no, no.

He looked terrible, he felt terrible, he was going to vomit if anyone saw him like this.

“Go away,” he croaked. Why did he always sound so pathetic? He was a prince of Asgard. Second in line. No one could ever respect him if, Norns forbid, something happened to Thor.

“Your clothing arrived. I thought we could unpack them together, see what Pep, my PA, bought you,” Tony said softly.

“Just leave them on the ground.” His voice was raspy and pitiful.

“Have you ever had chocolate? It’s a bit cliché, but it’s the best thing ever for when you’re feeling down. I won’t startle you.” His voice was a bit muffled by the door, but Loki couldn’t hear any hint of mockery in his voice.

“Why?” He dragged the word out in a whiney tone on accident, sounding like a child.

“Come on, Loki. Don’t leave me hanging. These boxes are heavy. I don’t have your Aesir strength.” Tony’s voice was just as whiney as Loki’s.

Loki took in a deep breath, casting a glamour on himself to hide how weak he looked. He straightened his hair as he sat up from his bed. He opened the door just a crack. Tony had boxes stacked up to his chin and there were even more boxes behind him on a two wheeled dolly.

“How much did you buy me?” This was way too much.

“Pep got a bit overenthusiastic after she asked Thor about what styles you liked.” Tony shifted the boxes. “Now can I come in?” Loki bit his lip, looking at the ground briefly.

“I guess, just don’t touch anything.” _Especially not me_ , he added in mentally. He had added in plenty of touches to remind him of home. Now that he thought about it, his room probably looked freakish, but he’d already given him permission. If he refused him now he’d seem like a flip flopper that could never make up his mind about anything.

Tony waited patiently, only shifting the box a little bit.

He pushed down his anxiety as best he could.

Loki opened the door, sliding out of Tony’s way. He couldn’t meet his eyes, not wanting to see the critical look there.

“Alright if I set these down on your bed?” Tony asked and Loki just nodded, staring at the floor as he seemed to always do. He heard the faint noise of boxes being put on the bed. A moment later there was the squeaking of the dolly wheels. “Lots of cool stuff. Pep is great with clothing shopping.” There was a smile in his voice and Loki glanced up. Tony had his hands on his hips and was grinning at the pile of boxes. “I forget a knife for opening these,” Tony said while looking over at Loki.

Loki glanced back at the ground, walking by him and to his nightstand. He didn’t have a knife there, but he really didn’t want to show him his magic. Loki had been made fun of for centuries because of it and he really didn’t want it to start here too.

Loki reached into his nightstand and summoned up a dagger. He handed it over to Tony, careful not to let their hands touch.

“You Aesir always keep knives in their bedside tables?” Tony teased and Loki blushed. Most mortals weren’t warriors. Keeping weapons around was clearly strange to them. Loki squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment. “Don’t worry. My lab is full of deadly little toys,” Tony joked.

He twirled the dagger in his hand and Loki as a bit surprised by that. He looked closer at Tony’s hands. They were calloused and had plenty of old nicks and healed burns. The hands of a craftsman.

Tony began cutting the boxes open, humming some tune.

Loki put a bit of distance between them while hugging himself. He wasn’t used to other people being in his room, even if this one was temporary.

Tony whistled in appreciation.

“You’re going to look great in this,” Tony said while holding up a pair of black jeans.

“Don’t make fun of me.” Loki gripped himself a bit tighter.

“Definitely, definitely not making fun of you.” Tony pulled out a dark blue long sleeve shirt. “Try them on.” Tony tossed them to Loki and he caught them automatically. “Go on.” Tony’s smile was so imploring. Loki pursed his lips, but headed towards the bathroom. “Is it alright if I sit on your bed?”

“Uhm, please don’t.” His bed could smell or have a ridiculous amount of stray hairs laying around.

“Alright, I’ll just continue opening boxes.” There was the sound of tape being sliced and Loki did his best to silently close the bathroom door. He looked at the clothing. At least they weren’t green.

He cringed when he realized he was in one of his uglier pairs of pajamas. He’d rather be seen in the strange clothing this Pep person had picked out.

Loki locked the door, not wanting to chance being seen nearly naked. He wiggled out of his loose fitting (green) pants as well as his long sleeve shirt.

The new outfit was… terrible. It was tighter than he liked, showing off how skinny and lanky he was.

“Pep did a good job,” Tony commented, still in Loki’s bedroom. “You done yet?”

Loki wanted to bang his head against the wall. He’d seem ungrateful if he didn’t accept the clothing, but he hated how he looked.

He suddenly caught his own eyes in the mirror. Poison green, but Tony said he liked his eyes.

Was this all some sort of game to him?

This trick had been played on him before. Would Tony be waiting outside the door, camera at the ready? Just waiting to share it with the other Avengers so they could all laugh at him?

His vision fogged with tears.

“Loki?” Tony called out.

“I’m not coming out.” His voice was weak, pathetic—just like him.

“Want me to come in?”

“No!”

There was long pause.

Loki started panicking.

Tony was his host. He was being rude to his host. He brought shame to all of Asgard. Heimdall would tell his father and—there was a bright side! Maybe he’d be summoned back to Asgard!

“Loki, are you alright? Do you not like them?”

“I—I…” He didn’t want to admit how ugly he looked, not that it wouldn’t be obvious.

“Come on, Loki, talk to me.”

“I look hideous!” Loki finally admitted.

“Let me be the judge of that.” There was something in Tony’s voice that gave Loki pause.

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Promise on both my hearts.”

Loki let out air through his nose. He could do this. He could do this!

When he opened the door Tony was leaning his forearm against the frame, once again startling Loki by his proximity. He felt eyes on him. He tried not to squirm. Loki felt himself heat up as the silence lengthened.

“I told you it was bad.”

“Just the opposite, Loki. You look great.”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“Not in a million years, sweetums.” Loki quickly slammed the door shut. “I’m not making fun of you.” Loki heard Tony sigh. “Come upstairs with me. No one is going to say a negative word—not even think a negative word. Trust me.”

“Why should I trust you? I don’t even know you.” Loki could feel his anger overcoming his usual anxiety, along with it came angry tears.

“You may not know me, but I know you. I’m not called a genius for no reason.” There was something pleading in his voice, something that was so imploring that it was almost like a spell was cast on Loki.

“Is Thor making you do this?”

“Thor is a bore. I only listen to him about a fifth of the time, bit too loud for my taste.” Despite himself Loki grinned slightly.

“He said you were the loud one,” Loki said softly.

“True, but I prefer my own voice over his. I’m a bit self-centered like that.” It sounded like a joke, but there was something self-deprecating about it, something that Loki understood. He crossed his arms in thought.

“You don’t seem self-centered to me.” Loki leaned against the door, staring at the shiny doorknob. “I know what you’ve been doing.”

“Enlighten me. What have I been doing?” Loki could hear a smile in Tony’s voice. Loki smiled.

“You’ve been… what was the word Clint used? You’ve been socially ‘cockblocking’ me.”

“That sounds… really bad.” Tony snorted and Loki cringed.

“It did sound bad.” Loki scrunched his nose up, not as embarrassed as he thought he’d be. “I mean you’ve been helping me not freak out about every little thing like I usually do.”

“Seems like I made things worse last week.” There was that tone again, self-deprecating.

“It would have happened sooner if not for you.” Loki slid down the door, resting his head against it.

“Naw—” Before Tony could say anything else an alarm sounded briefly, causing Loki to flinch. “Work calls. If you want to watch the battle just turn on the TV in the in the living room. See you later.”

Loki listened as Tony left before letting his head fall into his hands. That was probably the longest conversation he’d had in years. He refused to over-analyze it. Maybe watching the battle would properly distract him.

Without thought Loki teleport upstairs, wearing his new clothes.

* * *

Loki was so engrossed in watching the fight that he didn’t notice that one of the Avengers wasn’t participating.

“Nice new shirt,” Bruce said while coming to sit down on the couch. Loki looked at him with wide eyes.

“Honestly?” Bruce seemed taken aback by Loki’s question.

“Yeah, you fit right in. You could be an Avenger if you wanted to,” Bruce said while gesturing to the TV.

Loki was speechless.

“That’s… not me.” Loki finally said.

“It’s not me either.” Bruce’s smile was soft and Loki moved a bit farther away from him, not liking this conversation. “I literally have to break out of my shell to help the others.”

“It’s not the same,” Loki said, trying not to gnaw on his bottom lip. He tried concentrating on the battle on the TV screen. It was so much easier to watch from where he couldn’t be seen. That’s why invisibility spells were one of his favorites.

Thankfully, Bruce dropped the subject and even offered Loki a cup of tea.

When the battle was over, with the Avengers coming out on top, Loki disappeared back to his room.

* * *

Loki was sitting in Thor’s room, against his will. His brother was _regaling_ him with the story of the battle yesterday. Loki would mention that he had already seen it, but knew it would not stop his blabbering.

Finally Thor stopped talking, but only because the pair was supposed to go to a celebratory movie night. Thor insisted Loki join, citing Frigga’s edict that Loki play nice with Thor’s friends.

He’d come to the conclusion that the Avengers were quite a bit different than the Idiots Three and Sif the Stiff. He didn’t know how to handle them. Natasha’s eyes tracked him subtly, putting him on edge even more so than usual. Bruce tried to be nice to him and Loki didn’t know how to react. Clint pretty much ignored him, which he preferred. Steve was always trying to offer him food, making Loki hate how skinny he was. And then there was Tony… Loki just didn’t understand him.

It had to be some sort of trick, but he really hoped it wasn’t.

* * *

The trip to the communal floor was filled with his usual apprehension and racing thoughts. The elevator opened and Loki cringed. The Avengers were arguing. He backed up into the elevator and cringed again when Thor started throwing in his opinion on what sort of movie they should watch.

Loki just wanted to retreat. This was just too much after everything that happened yesterday.

“Hey, Loki, I brought you some cranberry juice,” Tony said while passing by Thor and entering the elevator, two glasses of juice in his hands. “Sorry about the chaos. Normally we discuss this sort of thing while we are fighting baddies, but yesterday’s battle was too quick for that.”

Tony put his hand on the small of Loki’s back and Loki was surprised that instead of pulling away, as he usually would, he leaned into the touch. The sudden contact and warmth was unexpectedly nice and Loki was surprised that he actually wanted to be engulfed in this feeling.

Before he could contemplate this further they were already in the TV room. Tony moved away to kick Clint out of ‘his’ seat. Loki glanced around and finally took a seat next to Tony’s, wishing Thor would flank his other side. He couldn’t get Thor’s attention right now though. He was too consumed with the argument that nearly all the Avengers were participating in.

Loki could always raise his voice and ask, but didn’t want to draw attention to himself and make himself sound like a child.

He pushed himself further into his chair, placing his arm with the drink on the armrest. Being covered in a blanket would ease some of his nerves, but the only one in the room was across the battlefield that was the Avengers arguing.

“Alright, enough of that!” Tony said with authority in his voice. The group quieted down almost immediately, turning their attention to Tony. “Bruce hasn’t chosen a movie in forever, so I think we should give it to him.”

“You’re only saying that because you like sci-fi movies,” Natasha accused while moving closer to him. Loki clutched his glass a little tighter, careful not to break it.

“That doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m telling the truth. Brucie can you remember the last time you got to choose?”

“Nope,” Bruce said and Loki couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.

“Looks like we have a winner!” Tony raised his drink up with a wide grin that made Loki want to smile too. “Jarvis, you know what to do.”

“Of course, Sir,” a voice from all around them said.

The glass in Loki’s hand suddenly shattered as all the emotions from his first day on Midgard came flooding back with vengeance. He started taking in shallow breaths while looking all around him for the source of the voice.

“Who is that?” he gasped out, his heart beating out of control. Thor started walking over to him, but it only made Loki panic more. “Who is that?!” Loki screeched, bringing his hands up to his head and curling in on himself.

“That’s Jarvis, my butler and best buddy. He’s an artificial intelligence that controls the whole tower,” Tony said in a calm voice. From Loki’s peripheral he saw Tony point to various corners of the room. Loki peeked up and saw strange round objects in the top corner of all the walls.

He froze, instantly remembering four in his room and even one in his bathroom.

That meant this Jarvis saw him in all his worst moments, at his ugliest and most pathetic.

“Get them out,” he whispered.

“What?” Tony asked, leaning towards him. Loki reeled away, causing wet shards of glass to fall into his chair. “Loki, I can’t hear you.”

“Get them out of my room!” he shrieked, pushing himself so far away that he toppled his chair over, sending him crashing to the ground and breaking a side table. He hastily pulled himself up, his tearful eyes involuntarily looking at each Avengers. He could see judgement and mockery on each of their faces.

He couldn’t breathe and with the last bit of his self-control he teleported himself back to his room.

* * *

Loki was crying his eyes out while hiding under a sheet in his bedroom. His hands were still in his hair, one unbearably sticky from the cranberry juice he’d made explode. He tried to stay silent, but knew he couldn’t stifle all his whines and broken gasps. Jarvis was listening after all.

Over his own stifled noises he heard the clinking of metal. He held his breath, trying not to be heard. The noise just got closer and Loki squeezed his eyes shut tighter, wanting whoever it was to just keep going, even though he knew his room was at the very end of the hall and there was no other reason to be in there other than to get to Loki’s room.

“Go away,” Loki croaked when the noise stopped right in front of his door. He mentally berated himself for how weak he was.

“It’s me, Loki,” Tony said through the door. “I deactivated all of Jarvis’ sensors on this floor, but I thought you might like me to uninstall them from your room.” There was a long pause and Loki just hated himself a bit more for it. “You want to know what happened the first time Thor heard Jarvis speak?” Tony didn’t wait for a response. “He nearly took down a whole floor of the tower because he was so startled and thought we were being attacked. It took me weeks to clean up after him and to convince him that Jarvis was only there to help.” Loki knew that wasn’t nearly as bad as his own response to the digital entity. “If you don’t respond I’m just going to assume I’m being an idiot and talking to a door.” Tony’s voice was joking and Loki remained silent, his tears having stopped flowing at some point. “Alright, I’m coming in. You don’t have to do anything.”

Before Loki could spell the door locked Tony was opening it. Loki could barely make out Tony’s outline through the thin sheet and sincerely hoped he couldn’t be seen. Even covered he knew he must look a mess, a tear stained sheet, him sitting in the middle of his bed like a little child during a thunderstorm. Pathetic, a coward, deserving of all the ridicule he was sure everyone was saying about him.

Why did Frigga force him to come to this place?

Tony moved to the far side of the room and Loki was grateful that he had a habit of keeping his room impeccable. Tony unfolded a ladder and climbed up it, a tool belt on his side. Tony began humming and Loki relaxed a bit.

Loki could see his silhouette through the sheet, a sliver of skin as he reached up to the sensor. Loki was suddenly enraptured with the way he moved, grabbing tools off his belt without looking, rocking slightly to his own music, effortlessly removing the complex hardware and replacing it with a piece of plastic that blended in with the wall.

Loki looked away despite being hidden when Tony began descending the ladder.

Tony made quick work of them as Loki watched on helplessly.

“Alright, Loki, I’m all done in here.” Tony let out a faint sigh. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m just so used to Jarvis being around that I guess I forgot to mention him to you. Don’t worry about the Avengers. None of them are judging you. They’re just worried about you. They care.” With that, Tony exited the room.

Loki felt a few stray tears escape him.

Tony just had to be lying.

There’s no way they could care, all except Thor, but he was obligated to care since they were brothers.

He’d made a fool out of himself in front of _all_ of them.

* * *

Loki refused to leave his room again, but instead of Thor dropping off his food in front of his door, Tony did so. At first it had startled him, especially when Tony started talking to him, telling him about his day.

The pattern persisted for weeks and Loki didn’t know what to make of it.

On a Monday Loki was surprised when Tony invited him to his lab.

“I can deactivate Jarvis so that it’s only you and me. No one is allowed in there without my express permission. It’s my sanctuary.” Why was Tony inviting him to his sanctuary? It was just another one of the things that Loki didn’t understand about him. “If you say no I’m just going to ask you every day until you finally give in. You don’t even have to come back tomorrow if you didn’t enjoy yourself. Loki?”

“Fine,” Loki said, his voice a bit raspy from disuse. “I need to get cleaned up. Go ahead without me.”

“Super.” Loki could hear Tony standing up, no longer leaning against the door. “If you’re not down there in an hour I’ll hunt you down,” Tony joked and Loki immediately felt pressure to not dawdle. He heard Tony's retreating chuckle as he slid out of bed, immediately heading for the bathroom.

Loki was so focused on scrubbing himself clean, dealing with his hair, clipping his nails, brushing his teeth, and picking an outfit from his new clothes that he didn’t have time to worry.

He was in the elevator with fifteen minutes to spare.

The door to the workshop opened on its own automatically just as it had the first time he was down here.

“Jarvis, privacy mode please. I’ll reactivate you manually,” Tony said as Loki walked in. There was no response, but Loki knew that whatever Tony had done worked.

Once he was inside the lab he didn’t know what to do with himself.

He gaped a little bit while taking it in, despite this not being the first time he’d been there.

“Uhm…” He clenched his hands at his sides and was surprised by how quickly Tony figured out what was wrong.

“I brought down some books in case you wanted to read.” Tony gestured to a couch that had a stack of books covering half of it. “There’s also the internet. You can play games with the holographs or on the computer.” Tony almost seemed nervous, letting Loki relax a little. “There’s a fridge over there. There’s not much in it.”

“Oh, thank you,” Loki said softly, making his way towards the couch.

“Also, fair warning, I have three bots: Dum-E, U, and Butterfingers that run around on occasions. Just think of them as clumsy puppies. They’re meant to help me out down here, but end up causing more destruction than help.” Despite his words, Tony sounded fond of the robots, making Loki smile. He sat on the couch, thumbing through the different books. “Is it alright if I talk to you as I work? You don’t have to respond or even listen. Speaking just helps me process my ideas faster.”

“That’s fine.” He wished he had the courage to just say his thoughts as they came, but he was certain he’d just embarrass himself further if he did.

Soon enough Tony was elbow deep in a machine. His sentences started out slow, but picked up in pace soon enough. Loki couldn’t concentrate on his book, not that he wanted to.

He’d never seen a mind that was so… alive. Tony’s thought patterns seemed to spiral outwards for minutes on end before suddenly snapping back to the main subject as all that he said somehow formed a solution.

Tony didn’t only talk about science and his work though. He talked about the Avengers, his personal assistant Pepper, and his friend Rhodey. Loki almost felt like he was somehow becoming friends with them just through Tony’s stories and ramblings.

And then Tony began talking about Loki and the god was instantly embarrassed. It wasn’t like Tony was saying anything cruel or teasing. It was just that… he noticed so much, so much that Loki didn’t even know about himself, like how he tended to stand on the left side of the room, always facing the doorway or how he ate with his left hand despite being right handed.

After a few hours Loki just had to retreat back to his room in order to sort out his emotions.

“Feel free to come back tomorrow. I’m here most of the day.”

* * *

Loki left his bedroom the next morning, deciding to risk going to the communal floor to make himself some breakfast.

Unfortunately one of the Avengers was there. Clint was sitting at the breakfast bar munching on a sloppily made sandwich.

“Mornin’,” Clint grumbled.

Loki eyed him warily before returning the sentiment.

He decided on a quick meal so he wouldn’t have to linger around the other person.

When he returned to the elevator he hesitated while looking at the buttons. He had automatically reached for the button that would take him to his and Thor’s floor, but he had been invited elsewhere.

Would he look like a stray cat slinking back to Tony just because he offered a morsel?

He closed his eyes and pushed a button blindly. When he finally worked up the courage to look he’d pressed the button that would take him to Tony’s lab. He was both relieved and horrified.

Loki was in the middle of amping himself up when the elevator opened and he came face to face with Tony. Before Loki could panic Tony was smiling widely.

“Perfect,” Tony clasped his hand onto Loki’s shoulder, his thumb brushing against Loki’s collarbone, “mind helping a mere mortal carry a few boxes?” Loki could only nod as Tony joined him in the elevator. Tony’s hand fell away and Loki let out a whimper. “Hmm?” Tony asked.

“Nothing,” Loki forced out.

Tony shrugged.

Loki looked at their warped reflections in the elevator doors with downcast eyes. He was so lanky while Tony was handsome and… and…

The elevator doors opened into a large garage area and Tony stepped through. Loki stumbled after him.

“There they are.” Tony’s voice was almost loving as he walked up to three large boxes. He hefted one up. “Help me out?” Loki scurried into action.

He heard a strange scuffling noise and before he could investigate he felt a sharp piercing on his neck, he stumbled forward and he heard Tony let out a slurred curse.

“The other one’s not going down,” an accented voice said.

“Hit him a few more times. I think he is the other Asgardian we’ve been hearing about, and if not he just dies.” There were a few more sharp stings to his neck and torso and Loki felt himself swaying, his eyes blurring. He felt himself hitting the ground and nothing else.

* * *

He could hear water flowing. The next thing he realized was that there was a warmth on his thigh. Loki cracked his eyes open and almost started hyperventilating.

“Please… don’t move,” a raspy voice said and Loki felt a weak hand grasp his wet shirt.

“Tony?” he asked, seeing a strange glowing blue piercing the darkness that was all around them. There was a wheezing noise before Tony responded.

“The one and only.” Tony laughed and it almost sounded painful.

“What happened?”

“Some old friends turned enemies showed up.” Tony sighed. “Sorry you got caught in the cross fire.”

“It’s…alright.”

“It really isn’t though.” Tony chuckled again before coughing loudly.

“Where are we?”

“Someplace not good, I suppose.” Tony’s voice cracked and Loki wished he could see more than just the shadows of Tony’s features. “It’s very Bond movie-esque. Bastards know I’m scared of drowning so they threw me into this place. If you haven’t noticed it’s filling up with water.”

“We have to get out of here,” Loki stated lamely.

“Please don’t leave me.” Loki wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw a tear glint against Tony’s cheek.

“I’d never do that, but we need to start looking for an exit.” Whatever they had injected him with was making his magic unstable. He didn’t trust himself to use it and not teleport them into solid rock.

“I can’t stand. My leg’s broken and my other ankle is at least sprained from when they threw me down here.” Tony was starting to breathe shallowly.

“What if I prop you up? I promise not to go too far away and the second you call me back I’ll be here,” Loki said in a soft voice, knowing how horrible panic attacks were.

Tony took in a deep breath before nodding. He tried to push himself up and hissed in pain. Loki was quick to help him sit up and lean against the wall.

“Hold on. Rip my shirt open. It will help you see clearer.” Loki hesitated before reaching for Tony. His black, wet shirt was clinging to him, and even in the dim light Loki could see his defined contours. “It’s alright. I can always buy a new one.” Loki blushed, thankful that Tony thought that was the reason he was hesitating. Loki ripped open the shirt and had to blink a few times to clear his vision. Whatever it was that was on Tony’s chest was almost blinding. “I’ll tell you the story when we’re out of this hell hole,” Tony promised.

Loki nodded before standing up and instantly falling back to his knees. Tony sputtered and Loki immediately crawled over to him.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to splash you! You’re okay! We’re going to be okay!” Loki brushed his hand down Tony’s face and rested it on his shoulder. “We’re going to be okay,” he said, mustering up as much confidence as he could. Tony audibly swallowed before nodding, tears clear in his eyes.

Loki pulled himself up, using the wall for support. He could tell that the water was coming from the ceiling. With careful steps he started rounding the room. It was smaller than he originally suspected. He was looking for any imperfections that he could use to his advantage. Everything was so smooth though and the water kept rising.

“Loki!” Tony called out and he immediately went to his side, nearly tripping. The water was covering half of Tony’s glowing object and it was clear that he scrambling to stand up. Loki quickly looped his arm under Tony’s. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I think I’ve found a solution, but it’s not perfect.”

“Anything’s better than this,” Tony said while looking down at the dark water.

Now that he was so close and the light brighter he could see that Tony had been pummeled. One of his eyes were swollen shut and he was bruised nearly everywhere. Loki wanted to hug him, but knew that wouldn’t help their situation.

Loki hoisted him a bit higher, some part of him reveling in how he felt, despite Tony shivering. If the water didn’t take him then hypothermia would.

Loki licked his lips before staring at the wall.

“This might be a bit loud.” Before Tony could respond Loki pulled back his arm and slammed his fist into the wall, creating a gouge that went up to his wrist.

“That won’t work. We’re underground and by the time you punch through it will already be too late.” Tony’s voice was strained.

“That’s not what I had in mind.” Loki punched another hole in the wall, this time higher and to the left.

“I’m going to climb out of here—”

“But—”

“With you on my back.” His strength was depleted, but he was certain he could do it.

Loki closed his eyes briefly, realizing he’d have to take off his shirt in order to help secure Tony to him. He could take off his jeans too, but… he would never be able to look Tony in the eyes again if he did.

This was life or death though. Loki could spend a few hours under water before he succumbed to their depths, but mortals could only take a few minutes.

“I’m…” His voice was quivering and he cleared it as quietly as possible. “I’m going to have to tie you to me with my clothing.

“Please, just anything. I think the water is starting to rise quicker.”

Loki quickly stripped while still holding Tony upright. He couldn’t look at him. At least it was dim in here. Tony wouldn’t be able to see how skinny he was—Oh, Norns, but he’d be able to feel him.

Loki brushed away his tears, knowing he had to be strong in his situation.

“This is going to hurt.” Loki moved so that Tony’s arms were over Loki’s shoulders and clasped together. He tied their torsos together, feeling the skin of Tony’s chest press against his back. Next came the really painful part. “I’m so sorry.” He raised Tony up by his thighs and Tony let out a garbled shout before biting down on Loki’s shoulder. He nearly dropped him in surprise.

“Sorry,” Tony said while panting. “Force of habit.”

“No—No, problem,” Loki stuttered out while quickly securing Tony to him. “This shouldn’t take long. Just please hold on tight.

Loki reached for his first hold on the nearly smooth wall and was pleased when it didn’t crumble under their combined weights.

He could feel Tony’s warm breath on his neck, raising goosebumps. Every contour of Tony’s body was pressed against him, which just reminded Loki that Tony could feel him too, making him quicken his pace.

When they finally reached the top Loki made sure he had good holds on the wall before he began punching at the ceiling, trying not to let the debris hit them or breathe in the dust.

It felt like it took forever, but Loki knew it couldn’t have been more than five minutes before light shined through.

“We’re almost there, Tony.” But there was no response and Loki realized that the arms around his shoulder and neck had at some point gone lax. “Tony?!” Panic began to rise up, but Loki knew he needed to concentrate.

He busted through the last of the concrete that was blocking their way before pulling them out. He was surprised to see that they were somewhere deep in the forest.

“Help!” Loki shouted out, not really knowing what else to do. “Please somebody help us!” Loki frantically untied Tony from himself, laying him out carefully. He tore open the side of Tony’s jeans when he saw that it was blood stained. It was worse than he originally thought. Not only was Tony’s leg broken, but the bone was sticking out. He knew he needed to reset it before he could properly stop the bleeding. Thankfully it was something he’d done a thousand times while out with Thor and his friends. “I’m glad you’re unconscious and I’m so sorry.” He was quick about it before using his shirt to staunch the bleeding.

“Is someone there?” a voice rang out.

“Yes! Please help us!” Loki felt like crying tears of joy, but held them in. A man carrying a large backpack appeared over a hill before running towards them.

“Holy shit! Is that Tony Stark?” the stranger said while panting as he kneeled beside them.

“Yes, please, I need to get in contact with the Avengers!”

“Yeah, dude, whatever you need.” The hiker dumped out his well-organized pack before grabbing a cell phone. “What’s their number?”

“I don’t know!” Loki truly began weeping.

“Chill out. I got this.” The human began typing on his phone before raising it to his ear. “Avengers Tower? We’ve got a beaten up Tony Stark in need of assistance. Can you track my phone? He’s looking pretty bad.” There was a pause and Loki could faintly hear another voice. “Great, yeah I’ll stay on the line.”

“How long?” Loki asked.

“Twenty-five minutes, give or take ten.” The hiker looked at Tony with a frown. “I think he’s in shock.” He frowned. “We should probably get him out of these wet clothes. I have a sleeping bag and hand warmers. That ought to hold him over until your crew gets here.”

Loki nodded in agreement, but hesitated. The mortal laughed.

“Don’t worry. Half the civilized world has seen Tony Stark naked, just probably not in real life. You start stripping him.” He tossed Loki a shirt. “Dry him off and I’ll set up the sleeping bag and hand warmers.” Loki nodded, thankful that someone was taking control of the situation.

He’d already torn Tony’s shirt so it was easy to remove despite it sticking to his skin. Loki could feel a bit of his magic coming back under his control. He considered using it to strip Tony, but knew it could be put towards a better purpose. He quickly examined Tony’s leg before healing the mangled skin, stopping the bleeding. He ripped Tony’s jeans and kept his eyes mostly closed as he took off his boxers. Patting him down was even more embarrassing and Loki knew that if the situation was reversed he’d hide away from everyone until he was certain his nakedness had been forgotten.

The human was quick to bundle Tony up, along with throwing a few hand warmers in the sleeping bag.

“Energy bar?” The human offered up.

“Thank you.”

“The names Ian, by the way,” he said while biting into his own energy bar.

“Loki.”

“As in Thor’s brother?” Why was that always the first thing a stranger said when they met?

“Yes, Thor’s brother.”

“Man, why don’t I ever see you out there kicking ass with the other Avengers?” Did they really have to have this conversation?”

“I’m a lover, not a fighter,” Loki quoted from some movie before taking another bite out of his energy bar.

“Yeah, me too. It takes a lot of balls to fight assholes like they do.” Was Ian trying to imply that Loki had no balls? That he was just some meek woman? Loki squashed down those thoughts, staring instead at Tony silently. Ian laid out on the ground beside them and Loki curled up even tighter. “My girlfriend is never going to believe me when I tell her I saw Tony Stark’s dong in person. She had a crush on him when he was all parties and booze. I like this version more though, less competition.” Ian laughed at himself and Loki forced a smile, trying to be amiable.

Loki let out a very audible sigh of relief when he spotted the quinjet and both Natasha and Clint ziplined in with some sort of gurney.

“What’s his injuries?” Clint asked, all business.

“I stopped the bleeding. His leg is broken and possibly his ankle too. He’s in shock,” Loki reported dutifully. Natasha nodded as the pair easily put him on the gurney. “I can’t use my magic properly, but I can wait here if it means Tony gets to a hospital quicker.”

“No need,” Natasha said as the gurney was mechanically lifted back into the quinjet. “We already have doctors and medics on board.”

“Hey,” Ian said, catching Natasha’s attention, “I’m kinda out of rations and hand warmers so if you could give me a lift to the city that’d be totally awesome.”

The gurney was lowered back down.

“Get in, kid, but if I find out you had anything to do with this… Well, I’m not opposed to torture.” Natasha’s eyes flashed dangerously.

“You’re way scarier and sexy in real life.” Natasha rolled her eyes and shoved the human onto the gurney before gesturing for Loki go sit on it. They were raised just as quickly as Tony had been.

Loki stumbled inside and towards the medical staff. He could tell they were treating Tony and he felt a bit of relief, that is until one of them eyed him strangely. Loki looked down at himself and realized that he was nearly naked and that what little clothing he was wearing was sticking to him, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Loki let out an ‘eep’ before quickly finding his brother and tearing his cape off. He covered himself as much as he could, certain that his face was as red as Thor’s cape. He hid behind him just as Natasha and Clint entered the quinjet.

“You did very well today, Loki,” Thor said under his breath while leading them to a more secluded part of the quinjet to sit down.

“Shut up,” Loki grumbled, his face still red. When they were in their seats Loki felt exhausted, both emotionally and physically. “I’m going to sleep. You will not let anyone see me in this state and you will not wake me until we arrive back at the tower.”

“Of course, brother.” Thor draped an arm over Loki’s shoulders, pulling him in close. He was familiar and warm and Loki fell asleep instantly.

* * *

Thor nudged him awake and Loki found that as well as Thor’s cape there was a blanket bundled around him. No one else was on the quinjet.

“We’ve located the perpetrators of this underhanded act and will soon be taking off again. Tony is stable and has been moved to his room.”

Loki nodded while standing and trying to keep himself covered. It was dark outside. Thor must have let him rest even after they got to the tower.

His magic still wasn’t quite under his control so he’d have to make his way inside and risk people seeing him. He scurried to the elevator and to his room unseen. The first thing he did was find proper clothing and change into them. He was thankful that whatever water had been pouring into that death trap was clean. He was too tired for a shower.

He looked at his bed longingly, but felt the urge to check on Tony first before putting an end to this embarrassing day that overshadowed every other embarrassing day he’d had in his long life.

He didn’t allow himself to think as the elevator ascended to Tony’s floor. He’d only been there on the first day he’d arrived and he’d definitely never been up to his bedroom.

“No thinking allowed,” he whispered to himself as his face became a lovely shade of pink.

At the door he refused to hesitate and knocked just like Tony had knocked on his door countless times before.

“Enter at your own risk. I smell like hospital and plaster,” Tony said and Loki smiled softly. He really didn’t know what he was expecting when he entered the room. Tony’s bed was surprisingly large and he was laying in the middle of it. “Ah, my hero.” Tony’s face was bright with a grin and playful eyes.

“I’m hardly a hero,” Loki mumbled, standing in the doorway.

“I would have been a floater if not for you. You’re a hero, _my_ hero, even if you won’t accept it yourself.” Tony held out his arm. “Come closer, my dear. I promise I won’t bite you… again.” Loki’s blush became even fiercer at Tony’s endearment.

“The pain medications must be making you a bit loopy,” Loki said while glancing at an orange bottle of pills. Tony snorted.

“Hardly. I’ve been on enough drugs to know when my mental capacity is compromised.” Loki couldn’t look away from him, even though his face was bruised and still slightly swollen. “Now come here and lay with me.”

“You want me to…” The words just didn’t make any sense to Loki.

“I promise I won’t grope or do anything untoward. You make me feel safe and I still haven’t properly thanked you for saving my life and putting up with my bullshit back there.”

“It wasn’t bullshit,” Loki said immediately. Tony paused in thought.

“You’re right. It wasn’t bullshit. We all have our fears and things that make us squirm on the inside.” Tony glanced away from him. “Anyway, thanks. Of everyone I know, I’m glad it was you down there with me.”

“Because only Thor or I would have been able to save you,” Loki stated.

“No, because the rest of them don’t understand. Natasha and Clint have been trained to have no fear. Bruce cares, but it takes everything he has to deal with his own emotional problems. Steve just wouldn’t know how to handle it and Thor… Well, I’m just glad it was you.” Tony finally looked back at him. His smile was fragile. He downturned the blankets and patted the spot beside him. “One last favor. Yeah?”

Loki nodded dumbly, not knowing how to refuse him. He slipped between the covers and was engulfed in Tony’s scent and warmth. It was… nice.

He was surprised when Tony pulled him flush against his side. Loki buried his face against him, seconds later realizing how embarrassing that was. He tried to pull back and Tony didn’t stop him.

“Good night, Loki,” Tony yawned out.

“Good night,” he echoed, still being able to feel the warmth radiating from him.

The lights dimmed into darkness, but with the faint blue glow he could see as Tony drifted off.

When he was certain Tony was asleep she shuffled closer and laid his head on his shoulder, hearing his heartbeat.

It was so nice, being this close to someone.

Tony shifted slightly and Loki froze before scooting back again.

He didn’t know how long it took him to fall asleep.

* * *

Tony was making stifled noises when Loki woke up, light just barely peeking through the curtains. Loki sat up and the noises abruptly stopped.

“Hope I didn’t wake you,” Tony said, his whole body turned away from Loki.

“No, I’m usually up at this hour,” he lied. “Usually when I’m crying my mother hugs me.” Loki cringed. Why did he always have to sound like a little kid?

“That’s not really an option for me.”

“Then perhaps,” Loki hesitated, “I could give you a hug?” It came out as more of a question than an actual offer. Loki reached forward slightly, grasping the sheet that was just an inch away from Tony’s shoulder, not daring to actually touch him.

“I always enjoy seeing you blush.” Loki immediately retracted his arm, crossing it over his chest along with its twin.

“Don’t make fun of me.” What made it worse was that Tony’s simple comment made him blush even more.

“Sorry. It’s a defense mechanism.”

“So you don’t want a hug?” Loki felt oddly rejected and felt it starting to spiral out into worse emotions.

“I never said that, now did I?” Tony turned around, his face still wet from wiped away tears. He sat up and held his arms open wide.

Loki carefully placed himself in his arms, returning the gesture.

This is what it was like to get a hug from someone outside of his family.

It was very different and Loki liked it… a lot.

Loki pushed him away when he felt like he was about to be overwhelmed by emotions.

“I’m—uh, going to make breakfast,” Loki said while scurrying off the bed.

“Make me some?” Tony asked and Loki hastily nodded while fleeing the room.

What was he doing? This wasn’t how he acted.

But it felt so good to be held.

But he couldn’t imagine anyone other than Tony hugging him like that without having a panic attack.

Was he really that pathetic that he couldn’t handle being touched by others?

Loki stared down at his feet as he descended the stairs from Tony’s bedroom. A noise caught his attention and he went on alert, surveying the area with lightning fast eyes.

“Ah, I didn’t think anyone, but Tony was here,” Bruce said, his eyes unreadable behind his glasses.

“It’s not what you think!” Wait, what did he think? That Loki was some stalker, spying on Tony as he slept? He was going to tell the others and then… and then…

“No, it’s fine. I’ve made plenty of food. I was just about to wake him.”

“He’s awake.” Loki really didn’t know what else to say, but then he remembered the state Tony was in. Loki knew that he didn’t like when others saw him like that and figured Tony probably wouldn’t like it either. “I’ll take it to him.”

Loki filled up two plates before retreating back to Tony’s room, forgetting his previous embarrassment for shoving himself out of Tony’s arms.

“Perfect,” Tony said as Loki walked in. He was propped up by a few pillows and looked like he hadn’t even been crying. “I guess I owe you an explanation.”

“Not if you don’t want to give one.” Loki took a bite of his food mindlessly. He knew how much it hurt to be forced into talking about his problems.

“Well it will make me feel a bit better.” Tony chuckled and Loki nodded in encouragement.

Tony told him everything, from how he used to be an obnoxious person, hit with his own bomb, tortured with water, betrayed by his godfather, and poisoned by his own creation.

By the time his story was over both their plates were cold.

“I…” Loki hesitated, glancing from his breakfast to Tony. “I can’t say I’ve had any of those experiences except for a privileged upbringing. I… I just have always been this way. I’m always scared that people are judging me, that they’re talking behind my back, that I don’t fit in, that I’ll stumble over my words, that I’m ugly and lanky, that I can’t even walk right, that I’ll break down at any moment without any reason.” Loki took in a shuddered gasp and tried to wipe away his tears. “I just want to be alone forever so that I don’t have to feel this way.” He kept wiping away his tears, but they just kept coming.

“No one here judges you, Loki,” Tony said in a soft voice.

“Yes they do! I _know_ they do!” The plate fell from his lap and he felt terrible for breaking another dish.

“The worst anyone has said about you in this tower is that you’re shy. I _know_ because Jarvis has been listening to them so I could stop anything before it got started, but nothing ever got started because they _like_ you.”

“That’s impossible,” Loki said defiantly, feeling more tears blur his vision. This was all just some sort of trick.

“No it’s not.” Tony set aside his plate and moved towards the edge of the bed until his feet were over the edge. He used his thumb to wipe away one of Loki’s stray tears. Loki couldn’t help but lean into the touch. “You want to know how I know?” Loki nodded, unable to find any words. “Because I like you, _a lot_.” Tony began leaning in, giving Loki plenty of time to flee, plenty of time to say no, but instead Loki just leaned in and their lips met in a tender kiss.


End file.
